CALL UNIVERSAL. URGENT.

FIELD OPERATIVE FAR EAST


In light of recent events and news that have come to my attention through various sources, I've relinquished the notion of spending time in the Bay area while on leave. Instead of jet setting up and down the left coast, i will spend quality time with family. To be reserved is for the feign of heart. The line just went dead.. no communication. A part of me wants to hold on, wants to keep chasing, wants to win her over. "Don't call this love." Tunnel vision, when you lose sight of your goals because you became focused on a single objective, person, thing, idea. Lost in your own head. One-itis becomes obsession which turns into delusion. People fooling themselves into believing their fantasy world is perfect, when in reality held up by a web of lies and deceit. This isn't about love as in caring. seeking forgiveness, attention, redemption. I'm just as fucked up and confused as the next guy. Maybe i don't want to be saved. This is about property as in ownership. Don't expect me to save you, safe in your high tower, this isn't your fairy tale.


Confidences are unprofessional.


I need out of my head. This is exhausting, and all of a sudden very boring. Picture a typical weekend in SD where the masses flock to over crowded dance clubs, it's too loud to talk, and after a few drinks you're drunk enough to expose what's really boiling just beneath the surface. Here everyone feels like the center of attention, completely cut off from the rest of the world. Escapism. Lost in the moment, filters down, coordination off, incoherent. I'm rambling.. shift gears. I've stopped calling and emailing but i still think about her more often than i'd like to admit. I'm anxious to cross paths again. I thought i saw her at PB the last time i was home but now everything is different. She's Nor Cal, I'm Far East. I'll be in town for less than two weeks, there are too many people and not enough time to spend with everyone. hug her before she or i were to disappeared forever. If our paths cross again i'll be sure to keep her in my life, until then i have my goals and own selfish pursuits. Settle the score. I've been brooding for a fight for months now. Fist fight with someone better than me to see how fast, how strong, how far i can go. Getting an idea of my limits and what it takes to break those barriers.














"DEATH TO SPIES"